Embracing Failure

I hate failing. I am sure it has a lot to do with the fact that when I was younger I had people say I was not capable, I would never be able to, it would be too hard. Failure can sting and can hurt, but it can also open your eyes, help you grow, make you a better person.

Part of the issue with hating failure and struggling to embrace it is because from an early age we are taught that failing is bad. If you got an F in a class, you were a stupid failure. If you failed your drivers test, you were an incompetent failure. If you failed in a relationship, you are an emotional failure. We even define failures in categories like preventable, complex and intellectual. Why is the act of failing such a complex process?

To start, failure exists to teach. With failure you are taught how to do better, what not to do, what doesn't work. We don't all have the answers, and even when we do many of us only can be taught or learn from our own mistakes, or own process.

Failure exists to grow us. If everyone knew everything, nothing would ever evolve. We wouldn't have electricity, computers, phones. All those things came out of failure after failure, until the right solution was found. As an individual, every failure I have had, ever mistake I have made has molded me into the person I am today. Have I screwed up, hurt somebody or done something stupid, you bet. But I know that I learned from all of those failures, I have become a better person or have been led in the right direction from them.

Lastly, failure exists to teach forgiveness. This is not the first thing we think of when we think about failure. But when we mess up, or fail we learn to ask for forgiveness. Sometimes we have to ask ourselves for forgiveness, sometimes we have to ask others. It forces us to also learn how to forgive. When someone has failed us, when they ask for permission to right their wrong, we learn to accept that they are learning and allow forgiveness so both of you can grow.

When we have the emotional intelligence to fail, learn the lesson and ask for forgiveness we learn to embrace our failures and the failures of others. Try it out sometime, I bet you will feel better afterwards!